The Dweller's Garden

If you're interested here are some pics from our honeymoon in Vegas/Hawaii.

public.fotki.com/cjmaziarz/

Enjoy!  We did!  :-D

apnews.excite.com/article/20080925/D93DT74G1.html

I'm not even trying to change my attitude any longer.  I just plain ol' can't stand them!  This is just another absurdity in a long line of the absurd!

Zeus help us!!!

Well, I know I'm not in the condition I used to be in when I was a Deep Sea Diver for the Navy.  Even when I was an active duty Diver we used to say that it is near impossible to sustain that level of conditioning without being surrounded by a locker full of equally motivated people.  But for crying out loud . . . I've really let myself go!  What a harsh reality I was smacked with just now!  :-O

The wife had an idea for our 365 picture which required me to put on my old Navy dress uniform and I couldn't put that fucker on over my freaking fat gut!  I mean I could barely pull them on let alone button the 13 buttons!  At which point my loving wife told me she noticed I was getting bigger around the midsection but didn't want to say anything to me about it.  My reply was that it is her job to tell me shit like that!  If I can't have my Queen tell me I'm a fat ass who I can I rely on to tell me the harsh truth?!

So that settles that!  No more of this bullshit.  My fat assedness is entirely unacceptable!  I'll be taking a nude picture for my 40th birthday in a few months and there's no way I'm going to look like this when that time arrives!  Mark my words . . . I will have my rock hard abs back by then and I will fit into that uniform and I will be buttoning all 13 buttons and I will not need oxygen after doing so!

One in a sea of shit but I'll take it as a win and be happy about it!

A small victory!

I got a ticket this morning. I hate cops! That is all.

I find lately that almost every day I see a commercial for yet another "Reality" television program. I mean for crying out loud!

• The $25 Million Dollar Hoax
• 30 Seconds of Fame
• 8th & Ocean
• A Model Life with Petra Nemcova
• A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila
• Adventures in Hollyhood
• Age of Love
• The Agency
• Airline
• All American Girl
• The Amazing Race 1
• The Amazing Race 2
• The Amazing Race 3
• The Amazing Race 4
• The Amazing Race 5
• The Amazing Race 6
• The Amazing Race 7
• The Amazing Race 8
• The Amazing Race 9
• The Amazing Race 10
• The Amazing Race: All-Stars
• The Amazing Race 12
• The Amazing Race 13
• America's Got Talent 1
• America's Got Talent 2
• America's Got Talent 3
• America's Most Smartest Model
• America's Next Muppet
• America's Next Producer
• America's Next Top Model 1
• America's Next Top Model 2
• America's Next Top Model 3
• America's Next Top Model 4
• America's Next Top Model 5
• America's Next Top Model 6
• America's Next Top Model 7
• America's Next Top Model 8
• America's Next Top Model 9
• America's Next Top Model 10
• America's Next Top Model 11
• America's Toughest Jobs
• American Chopper
• American Gladiators
• American Hot Rod
• American Dream Derby
• American Idol 1
• American Idol 2
• American Idol 3
• American Idol 4
• American Idol 5
• American Idol 6
• American Idol 7
• American Inventor
• American Juniors
• Amish In The City
• Amne$ia
• Anchorwoman
• The Anna Nicole Show
• Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
• Anything For Love
• The Apprentice 1
• The Apprentice 2
• The Apprentice 3
• The Apprentice 4
• The Apprentice 5
• The Apprentice: Los Angeles
• The Celebrity Apprentice 1
• The Celebrity Apprentice 2
• The Apprentice: Martha Stewart
• Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?
• Are You Hot?
• Armed & Famous
• The Ashlee Simpson Show
• Ashley Paige: Bikini or Bust
• The Assistant
• Average Joe 1
• Average Joe 2: Hawaii
• Average Joe 3: Adam Returns
• Average Joe 4
• Ax Men
• The Baby Borrowers
• The Bachelor 1
• The Bachelor 2
• The Bachelor 3
• The Bachelor 4
• The Bachelor 5
• The Bachelor 6
• The Bachelor 7
• The Bachelor: Paris
• The Bachelor: Rome
• The Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman
• The Bachelor 11
• The Bachelor: London Calling
• The Bachelor 13
• The Bachelorette 1
• The Bachelorette 2
• The Bachelorette 3
• The Bachelorette 4
• Baldwin Hills
• Battle of the Network Reality Stars
• Beauty And The Geek 1
• Beauty And The Geek 2
• Beauty And The Geek 3
• Beauty And The Geek 4
• Beauty And The Geek 5
• Beg, Borrow & Deal 1
• Beg, Borrow & Deal 2
• Being Bobby Brown
• The Benefactor
• Better Half
• The Beverly Hillbillies
• Big Brother 1
• Big Brother 2
• Big Brother 3
• Big Brother 4
• Big Brother 5
• Big Brother 6
• Big Brother 7: All-Stars
• Big Brother 8
• Big Brother 9
• Big Brother 10
• Big Brother International
• The Biggest Loser 1
• The Biggest Loser 2
• The Biggest Loser 3
• The Biggest Loser 4
• The Biggest Loser: Couples
• The Biggest Loser: Families
• The Biggest Loser: Special Edition
• Big Man on Campus
• Bindi: The Jungle Girl
• The Block
• Blow Out
• Boarding House: North Shore
• Boot Camp
• Born Country
• Boy Meets Boy
• Brat Camp
• Breaking Bonaduce
• Bridezillas
• Britney And Kevin: Chaotic
• Bromance
• But The Sex Is So Good
• Can You Duet?
• Canadian Idol
• The Casino
• Celebrity Circus
• Celebrity Cooking Showdown
• Celebrity Duets
• Celebrity Fit Club 1
• Celebrity Fit Club 5
• Celebrity Mole Hawaii
• Celebrity Mole Yucatan
• Celebrity Rap Superstar
• Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew
• Change of Heart
• Charm School
• Chasing Farrah
• Clash of the Choirs
• The Club
• Cold Turkey
• College Hill
• Combat Missions
• The Complex
• Confessions of a Matchmaker
• The Contender 1
• The Contender 2
• The Contender 3
• Cops
• Criss Angel Mindfreak
• Croc Hunter Challenge
• The Crocodile Hunter
• Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants
• Cupid
• The Cut
• Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team
• Dance Machine
• Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann
• Dance Your Ass Off
• Dance Fever
• Dancelife
• Dancing with the Stars 1
• Dancing with the Stars 2
• Dancing with the Stars 3
• Dancing with the Stars 4
• Dancing with the Stars 5
• Dancing with the Stars 6
• Date My Ex: Jo & Slade
• Date My House
• The Dating Experiment
• DEA
• Deadliest Catch
• Deal Or No Deal
• Deion & Pilar: Prime Time Love
• Denise Richards: It's Complicated
• Destination Truth
• Dice Undisputed
• Dinner: Impossible
• Dirty Jobs
• Dog The Bounty Hunter
• Dog Eat Dog
• Don't Forget the Lyrics!
• Dr. Steve-O
• Dream Job 1
• Dress My Nest
• Driving Force
• Eco-Challenge
• ego trip's The (White) Rapper Show
• Engaged and Underage
• Ex-Wives Club
• Extreme Makeover
• Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
• Fake-A-Date
• Fame
• The Family
• Family Foreman
• Family Business
• Family Plots
• Farmer Wants a Wife
• The Fashionista Diaries
• Fast Cars & Superstars
• Fat March
• Fear Factor
• The First 48
• Flavor of Love 1
• Flavor of Love 2
• Flavor of Love 3
• Flip This House
• Flipping Out
• Food Detectives
• For Better Or For Worse
• Forever Eden
• For Love Or Money 1
• For Love Or Money 2
• For Love Or Money 3
• For Love Or Money 4
• Funniest Mom in America
• Gay, Straight or Taken?
• Gene Simmons Family Jewels
• Ghost Hunters
• Ghost Hunters International
• Gimme My Reality Show!
• The Girls Next Door
• Giving Hope
• Gone Country
• Grease: You're the One That I Want
• Greatest American Dog
• Hard Knocks
• Have Fork, Will Travel
• Hell Date
• Hell's Kitchen 1
• Hell's Kitchen 2
• Hell's Kitchen 3
• Hell's Kitchen 4
• Here Come the Newlyweds
• He's A Lady
• Hey Paula
• HGTV Design Star
• High School Musical: Summer Session
• High School Reunion 1
• High School Reunion 4
• The Hills
• Hit Me Baby One More Time
• Hogan Knows Best
• Hole in the Wall
• Hooked Up
• Hope for Your Home
• Hopkins
• House Rules
• How to Look Good Naked
• Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling
• I Can Make You Thin
• I Love Money
• I Love New York 1
• I Love New York 2
• I Propose
• I Survived a Japanese Game Show
• I Wanna Be a Soap Star 4
• I Want To Be A Hilton
• I Want to Work for Diddy
• I'm From Rolling Stone
• I've Got Nothing to Wear
• Ice Road Truckers
• I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here!
• In Harm's Way
• In Search of the Partridge Family
• Intervention
• Into the Unknown with Josh Bernstein
• Invasion Iowa
• The It Factor
• Jackass
• The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency
• Jingles
• Joe Millionaire
• The Joe Schmo Show 1
• The Joe Schmo Show 2
• Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List
• Keeping Up with the Kardashians
• Kid Nation
• King of Cars
• Kitchen Nightmares
• LA Ink
• Lady or a Tramp
• Laguna Beach
• Last One Standing
• Last Comic Standing 1
• Last Comic Standing 2
• Last Comic Standing 3
• Last Comic Standing 4
• Last Comic Standing 5
• Last Comic Standing 6
• The Last Resort
• The Law Firm
• Legally Blonde The Musical: The Search for Elle Woods
• Life of Ryan
• Little People, Big World
• The Littlest Groom
• Living Lohan
• Liza & David
• Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska
• Love Cruise
• Love Shack
• Luke's Parental Advisory
• Mad Mad House
• Make Me a Supermodel 1
• Make Me a Supermodel 2
• Making Menudo
• Making News: Texas Style
• Making The Band 2
• Man vs. Wild
• Manhunt
• Married By America
• Master of Dance
• Maui Fever
• Meerkat Manor
• Meet Mister Mom
• Meet My Folks
• Meet The Barkers
• Million Dollar Listing
• The Millionaire Matchmaker
• Miracle Workers
• Miss America: Reality Check
• Model Citizens
• Models NYC
• The Mole 1
• The Mole 2
• The Mole 5
• The Moment of Truth
• Momma's Boy
• Monster Garage
• Moving Up
• Mr. Personality
• Mr. Romance
• Murder
• Murder in Small Town X
• Must Love Kids
• My Big Redneck Wedding
• My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad
• My Super Sweet 16
• My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss
• My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance
• My Fair Brady
• My Life Is A Sitcom
• Mythbusters
• Nanny 911
• NASCAR in Primetime
• Nashville
• Nashville Star 1
• Nashville Star 2
• Nashville Star 3
• Nashville Star 4
• Nashville Star 5
• Nashville Star 6
• National Bingo Night
• Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica
• Newport Harbor: The Real Orange County
• The Next Best Thing
• The Next Food Network Star 3
• The Next Food Network Star 4
• The Next Great American Band
• The Next Iron Chef
• Next Action Star
• The Next Great Champ
• The Next Joe Millionaire
• No Boundaries
• The One: Making a Music Star
• One Ocean View
• The One Who Got Away
• On The Lot
• Oprah's Big Give
• The Osbournes
• Outback Jack
• Outsider's Inn
• Pageant Place
• Pam: Girl on the Loose
• Pantry Raid
• The Paper
• Paradise Hotel 1
• Paradise Hotel 2
• Paranormal State
• Paris Hilton's My New BFF
• Parking Wars
• The Partner
• Pepsi Play for a Billion
• Perfect Match: New York
• Performing As...
• Phenomenon
• The Pick-Up Artist
• Pimp My Ride
• Pirate Master
• The Player
• Playing It Straight
• PoweR Girls
• Prankville
• The Principal's Office
• Project Greenlight 2
• Project Greenlight 3
• Project Runway 1
• Project Runway 2
• Project Runway 3
• Project Runway 4
• Project Runway 5
• Project Runway 6
• Property Ladder
• Punk'd
• Push, Nevada
• Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll
• Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious
• Queer Eye For The Straight Girl
• Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
• R U The Girl With T-Boz & Chilli
• Race To The Altar
• The Rachel Zoe Project
• Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew 1
• Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew 2
• Raw Nature
• The Real Gilligan's Island 1
• The Real Gilligan's Island 2
• The Real Housewives of Atlanta
• The Real Housewives of New Jersey
• The Real Housewives of New York City
• The Real Housewives of Orange County
• The Real Roseanne Show
• The Real Wedding Crashers
• The Real World: Austin
• The Real World: Back to New York
• The Real World: Boston
• The Real World: Chicago
• The Real World: Hollywood
• The Real World: Key West
• The Real World: Las Vegas
• The Real World: New Orleans
• The Real World: New York
• The Real World: Paris
• The Real World: Philadelphia
• The Real World: San Diego
• The Real World: San Francisco
• The Real World: Seattle
• The Real World: Sydney
• Reality Racing - The Rookie Challenge
• The Rebel Billionaire
• Recovery
• Renovate My Family
• The Restaurant
• Rich Guy, Poor Guy
• Rich Girls
• Road Rules
• Road Rules: South Pacific
• Road Rules: X-TREME
• The Road To Stardom With Missy Elliott
• Rob & Amber: Against the Odds
• Rob and Big
• Rob And Amber Get Married
• Rock of Love with Bret Michaels 1
• Rock of Love with Bret Michaels 2
• Rock the Cradle
• Rock Star: INXS
• Rock Star: Supernova
• Run's House
• Say Yes to the Dress
• Scare Tactics
• The Scholar
• Scott Baio is 45... And Single
• Scream Queens
• The Search for the Next Elvira
• The Search For The Most Talented Kid In America
• Second Chance: America's Most Talented Senior
• The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom
• Secret Millionaire
• Secret Talents of the Stars
• Sex in the Itty Bitty City
• Shaq's Big Challenge
• She's Got the Look
• Shear Genius 1
• Shear Genius 2
• Shipmates
• Shooting Sizemore
• The Simple Life 1
• The Simple Life 2
• The Simple Life 3
• The Simple Life 4
• The Singing Bee
• The Singing Office
• Skating With Celebrities
• Smash Lab
• Snoop Dogg's Father Hood
• So You Think You Can Dance 1
• So You Think You Can Dance 2
• So You Think You Can Dance 3
• So You Think You Can Dance 4
• Solitary
• Sorority Life
• Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search
• The Springer Hustle
• The Stagers
• The Starlet
• Star Search
• Starting Over
• Step It Up & Dance
• Street Customs
• Style Her Famous
• Stylista
• Sunday Best
• Sunset Tan
• Super Millionaire
• Supernanny
• Superstar USA
• Surf Girls
• The Surreal Life 1
• The Surreal Life 2
• The Surreal Life 3
• The Surreal Life 4
• The Surreal Life 5
• The Surreal Life 6
• The Surreal Life: Fame Games
• Survivor: Borneo
• Survivor: The Australian Outback
• Survivor: Africa
• Survivor: Marquesas
• Survivor: Thailand
• Survivor: The Amazon
• Survivor: Pearl Islands
• Survivor: All Stars
• Survivor: Vanuatu
• Survivor: Palau
• Survivor: Guatemala
• Survivor: Panama
• Survivor: Cook Islands
• Survivor: Fiji
• Survivor: China
• Survivor: Micronesia
• Survivor: Gabon
• Survivor 18
• The Swan 1
• Tabatha's Salon Takeover
• Take Home Nanny
• Taquita & Kaui
• Taxicab Confessions
• Temptation Island 1
• Temptation Island 2
• Temptation Island 3
• Thank God You're Here
• That's Amore
• There's Something About Miriam
• 'Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen & Dave
• Tim Gunn's Guide to Style
• Todd TV
• Tommy Lee Goes To College
• Tontine
• Top Chef 1
• Top Chef 2
• Top Chef 3 Miami
• Top Chef 4
• Top Design 1
• Top Design 2
• Top Gear
• Tori & Dean: Inn Love
• Tough Enough
• Trading Spaces
• Trading Spouses
• Treasure Hunters
• Trick It Out
• Trick My Truck
• Trick My Trucker
• Trista & Ryan's Wedding
• Tuesday Night Book Club
• Twentyfourseven
• The Two Coreys
• Two-A-Days
• Ty Murray's Celebrity Bull Riding Challenge
• UFO Hunters
• The Ultimate Coyote Ugly Search 3
• Unan1mous
• Under One Roof
• Varsity Inc.
• Victoria Beckham: Coming to America
• The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
• Viva La Bam
• Wanna Bet
• The Weakest Link
• Welcome to the Parker
• Welcome To The Neighborhood
• What Not To Wear
• When Women Rule the World
• While You Were Out
• Who's Your Daddy?
• Who Wants to be a Superhero? 2
• Who Wants To Marry My Dad? 1
• Who Wants To Marry My Dad? 2
• Wickedly Perfect
• Wife, Mom, Bounty Hunter
• Wife Swap
• The Will
• Wipeout
• Work Out
• World Idol
• The X Factor
• Your Mama Don't Dance

This is fucking insane! Is it any wonder that I only watch cartoons!?

Yeah, okay, I quoted a Redneck Comedy Hour guy! It's what came to my head. So, anywho . . . I'm that much closer to getting rid of the 800 lb gorilla! With any good fortune a rather sizable check should make it's way into my hands this weekend then I can finally take care of the last step of my solution. And once that's done I can rename my company and change what is necessary with lovely ol' State of Illinois. Then I can change the bank stuff and do whatever the accountant needs me to do. Then I can take care of some personal markers and then I'm free with clean slate and a serious motivation to take control of my world rather than assume others will take care of things for me!

I have a lot of unfinished projects and I plan on taking care of them all over the next couple of months. And I plan on really pushing the photography biz to the forefront of my efforts. And I'd love to sit here typing about all of this stuff a little longer but at the moment there is a frosty calling out to me.

So, yeah, I noticed it's been 80 weeks since I last updated. Um, I've been busy. I have decided that the melodrama that unfolds thru this site is too good to pass up so I'm reactivating my interest and I will be dwelling here once again.

More to follow!

I woke up early this morning to drive into the city and noticed a cop car in the lot. I live in a condo and pay what I feel is a lot of money to have this lot and to have the security guard that patrols the area. What I feel that buys me is hassle free parking and not having to worry about having my truck broken into or vandalized. So months ago apparently a roving group of bored teenages went on a rampage walking from neighborhood to neighborhood and randomly smashing out windshields and what have you. Many vehicles in our lot were vandalized and apparently the cops knew exactly who did it. Their reply to the calls of outrage was, "Since they are teenagers we can't tell you their names. And even if you knew the parents aren't legally responsible for their kids behavior so hope you have insurance." WTF?!

Now cut to this morning. I go out into the lot and notice the cop car which of course is parked right in front of my truck. She notices me and kindly moves forward 5 feet so I can get out of my space. I sit down and notice paper under my wiper blade. I grab it and notice that she gave me a freakin ticket for not having a Village sticker. It's not like I was parked on a Village street. I was parked in my paid for lot for Zeus' sake! WTF?! It's nothing short of extortion! Even since I moved to the particular suburb I've chosen I have come to absolutely loathe cops! I have been harassed by these losers time and again and have friends that have had legitimate legal problems that should be handled by these douchebags and of course they are too busy investigating out of state garbage or writing tickets to increase the Village's revenue rather than doing something worthwhile for tax paying residents.

I was walking through a Forest Preserve in the summer on a photo hike and came across a fat Forest Preserve cop trying to arrest some idiot and I wasn't sure if the cop was gonna drop dead from a coronary after having to walk, not run, a quarter mile trying to catch this goober. I got back out of my truck and asked if he needed help and watched for another ten minutes while he tried to handcuff the guy. I honestly can't believe he didn't go into cardiac arrest. WTF?! I thought cops were supposed to serve and protect! How can they even begin to serve and protect if they're 50 pounds overweight? Instead most of the cops I see on a daily basis are fat, bored, rude pricks that couldn't give a rats ass about upholding the law let alone doing anything to help the general public. It really chaps my ass seeing a fat cop in his cruiser speedily running a red light and watching him pull into a gas station to get coffee (I'm not making this up)and seeing the same cop not pull someone over for having a mobile toxic fume spreading junker held together with duct tape spewing blue/white smoke while driving down the median making it almost impossible to see through but then pulling my friend over because he noticed my friend's 1x1 inch sticker on their dirty license plate was 1 month expired. And cops wonder why they get no respect. Everyday I read about some crooked ass cop(s) that after years of abusing the public and the system finally getting caught. It makes me sick!

Needless to say, I won't be donating to the police department ever and I'll be hard pressed to stand there waiting to see if some fat cop needs my help apprehending the "bad" guy.

Once again, here I sit in the notch contemplating life's mysteries. I'm acquaintances with some lecherous people, some despicable people, some annoying people, and a rare good person or two. One person in particular seems to be shaping up to be a very vile human being. Very judgmental, very racist, very hateful, etc. This person, hereafter referred to as X, has something bad to say about everyone. X insults everyone they see. X will spend 10 minutes insulting their best friend and that friend will call and X will just be the sweetest thing. It's disgusting and sickens me every time it happens. I ponder what makes someone who has the potential to possess such positive energy waste that potential on such destructive energy. Why would someone choose to be so hateful? Why would someone choose to surround themselves in a blanket of negativity all of the time? Make no mistake, we all have the power to choose. Anyone who whines and complains about their lot in life has made a choice to have that negative energy in their life. Use any metaphor you want - the dark and the light side of the force, the blue or the red pill, heaven or hell - it doesn't make a difference what you call it because it is still a choice. Led Zeppelin said it best, "Yes, there are two paths you can go by but in the long run there's still time to change the road you're on." Even Darth Vader realized his error and came back to the light side. He spent his life filled with hate and destroyed everything he loved and cherished. He made the choice to allow the hate to take over. Then he made a choice to let that hate go. I used to be an ignorant person filled with hate. I allowed those things I surrounded myself with to influence me and I was filled with a hate whose only outlet was rage. I was hateful for a long time. Then I woke up. I used to collect quotes and I found the place I wrote them down. The last of my entries reads as follows:

"I began to wonder why in hell I'd spent my life being such a gloomy, moody son of a bitch, been such a distrustful and suspicious bastard, when the whole secret of everything, the whole core secret, was simply to enjoy it, to take it as it came."

X has made the choice to embrace hate. And that hate makes X a vile person whose only outlet is rage. I chose to let that hate go.
When I see people like X I remember why I did so.

And I'll close with some words from a favorite book of mine.

"Almost immediately after coming to this understanding of the state of the game and the sole path to dignity, Hel felt years of accumulated disgust and hate melt from him. Once severed from the future, the past becomes an insignificant parade of trivial events, no longer organic, no longer potent or painful.

His newly liberated mind drifted from wisp of idea to wisp of memory, and soon - quite naturally - he found himself in the triangular meadow, one with the yellow sunlight and the grass.

Home . . . after so many years of wandering."

So, I've spent the day attempting to look around this site and I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed. I'm on a lot of different sites and was hoping that this one would be different. Like I said in my first post, I don't want this to be just another site I waste time on with the same people from the other sites saying the same stuff. I intend to use this site as my daily journal, my sounding board, my ranting board. I looked through hundreds of pages today and realize that a lot of people created profiles here and they just dropped off the face of the earth. They seemed to have such lofty goals and were so gung ho when they created their pages . . . then nothing. It seems that they had hoped to have more interaction on their pages and just never got it. I guess when you're dealing with the internet and millions of users it's kind of tough to expect people to stay the course. I mean, hell, I have accounts/profiles at 7 places that I look at constantly on a daily basis and sometimes it's just so damn boring. Things started out great then all of a sudden people stopped posting as much if at all. Friends lists started getting smaller. Are people getting tired of the internet. I wouldn't think so since more and more places are springing up all the time and their memberships continually grow and grow. I think it is just that we are overwhelmed by the shear volume of places that we belong. You can only juggle so many plates. It's great to get a lot of attention with 10 plates but after awhile it gets tough to keep all those plates going. Eventually you just don't have the energy to keep them going and they start to drop. And then you find out that it was better when you had 3 plates going and it was actually more fulfilling to have those 3 going full strength than having 10 going at half the pace.

All of that being said, I still have at least 7 sites going. I'm pretty bored with most of them but I'm hoping this site will take me in a different direction. I'm hoping to maybe find some new friends here and I would love to talk to new people. I would love to discuss new things and find out what passions and interest you have. So come on into The Dweller's Garden and let's take a walk together.

And as a quick aside, yesterday in was sunny and in the 70s. Today it's in the 30s/40s, it is raining and windy, with thunder and lightning, and by the end of the evening it will be snowing. What the hell?!

Well, yet another place for me the dwell on the internet. However, this site will be slightly different. I have decided that I will keep certain aspects of my life out of here. They are everywhere else and I have no desire to repost the same stuff in multiple places.

I'm going to keep this site for the side of me that is just really beginning to show. I have finally started to create a look for myself that I think was always really there but because of one thing or another I was never really able to truly embrace. That isn't the case any longer so I'm running wild with it. So I'm expressing myself with more tattoos, more piercings, more jewelry, different hair, different clothes, and different acquaintances. I've tapped my creative side and this has opened up a whole new world for me. Because of this I have a completely different life. Different friends, new home, new attitude, and best of all this has left me open for love. I'm not just talking about a different girlfriend. I'm talking about love for myself. I've never really liked myself much but that is all starting to change. I may actually be able to see myself through other people's eyes. And I'm starting to like what I/they see. And that is what led me to my current love. She is the best thing to happen in my life ever! She has allowed me to pursue my dreams with nothing but love and support and that is way different than anything in my past. I look forward to the future now rather than dwelling in the past or even living for the moment.

Holy mackeral! I think that's enough for a first post. More to follow in the ever mysterious future!